Chaos & The Game of Life Beyond Theory: How Divine Disorder Benefits Your Marriage & Business

“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm, or the gods, or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.” (George R.R. Martin)

Business and marriage by themselves are both tough, uphill fights. So doing business together as a couple is just asking for trouble, right? Well, I’m hoping to convince you that facing the chaos and change that come with running a couple’s business one of the main reasons it’s the best thing in the world for a couple to do. Do you think I’m crazy? Chaos and change are bad, right?

The very first thing the Buddha preached was that all human suffering starts with the anxiety of trying to hold onto things that are constantly changing. And what changes faster than business? What’s more difficult than two humans staying in love? And the other inevitable, chaos, is evidence that eventually everything falls apart. Waiting at end of the perfect marriage and most profitable business is death. So what’s a couple to do?

We help our clients summon the hero in themselves and learn to savor change and chaos as opportunity; give them techniques and processes that cause challenges to increase their love for one another, and we hold them accountable to deeply experience the learning and self-awareness that come with struggle. Heck you watch movies or read good novels? Who wants to see a controlled, sterile, story with no heroic star, no surprises?

Life sings BECAUSE of its chaos and change. Things become interesting and stimulating. Our experience in Panama is blessing us because of days like today. We started with a long walk/run on the beach at sunrise. After breakfast, along with a couple from Canada, we visited the sweet Italian fellow from New York to watch child prodigies sing opera. Everyone cried. After lunch we rode the jitney to town with the folks who live and work here. We stopped to get a crepe in a restaurant that turned out to be owned by a Russian woman and her son. That’s all I know because Olga talked to them most of the time in Russian. Our shopping included a stop at the fish market which means getting to see the fishers run their boats up onto the sand, carry the catch in and sort and weigh it right before our eyes. Life here is not a subject to as many rules and expectations. We find ourselves contented in the chaos.

So:

• Don’t buy the brainwashing. Change and chaos are inevitable. Use them, don’t fight them.
• Recognize you actually wouldn’t want to live in a world without chaos and change.
• We expect to be able to somehow control our partner’s behavior when, admit it, we can’t even control our own.

People spend lots of time and money to create the illusion of safety and control in our lives, but life is not secure and we can’t control our next heartbeat.

Here’s all I have to say about control in a relationship. We expect to be able to somehow control our partner’s behavior when, admit it, we can’t even control our own.

We teach couples ways to turn the friction of marriage and business into opportunities to grow unconditional love. This one sounds simple but is sophisticated and challenging to enact in the moment. “Consider everything your mate does as an act of love or a request for love”. (Marianne Williamson). Request your introductory free coaching session to get to know us.

“Order is what exists before you start arranging things.” (Marty Rubin)

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